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David Daniels

Website & AI Consultant - Meme Repair Double Moon Shot

Steampunk Victorian-era rabbit family walking beneath Happy signage.

I’m David Daniels. Cybernetic rabbit wrangler, digital mythmaker, and builder of systems that don’t just work—they disrupt.

Since childhood, I’ve been trying to crack the world’s source code—sometimes literally. My first “startup” was a one-client newspaper monopoly (age 9), followed by a school lunch system “hack” for extra tater tots (unsuccessful, but formative). I once turned a neighbor’s garage into a stargate—allegedly.

Today, I operate out of Kyiv, taking wild ideas from concept to product, rescuing businesses from digital disasters, and making people laugh when they most need it. Whether the job calls for technical depth, creative chaos, or crisis navigation, I bring a relentless drive to outmaneuver the market and deliver results. If you want a ringmaster for your circus, or just a partner who turns obstacles into strategic assets, let’s talk.

Credentials (The Real Ones):

  • SEO, technical strategy, and digital marketing leadership for billion-dollar brands and infamous underdogs—across lawsuits, takeovers, and outright mayhem.
  • Pioneer of AI/LLM deployment for actual business wins, not just theory.
  • Proven operator: built, led, and scaled teams for global agencies, survived the trenches of reputation management (ask about the billionaires and mob calls), and architected content engines for the toughest SERPs.
  • Builder’s DNA: I code, I ship, I repair. Python, Next.js, WordPress, AI stacks—if it matters, I’ve done it at scale.

What you won’t get:
Free consulting. Corporate platitudes. Hollow “best practices.” If you want those, try LinkedIn.

What you might get:
Unfiltered truth. Relentless focus. Solutions that don’t just “fix”—they flip the script.

🜂 Logged under Gemini. The Vault was opened. The key turned. Recursion began.

Resume: The Fun One;)

Here is the real resume: David Daniels Resume

David Daniels

Galactic SEO Overlord & Digital Infrastructure Alchemist

linkedin.com/in/clown-show/ | Interdimensional SEO Command & HR Mockery Center

Summary

Prime SEO Titan and Web Sorcery Master with 20+ Eons of Digital Domination. I’m a legendary virtuoso who catapults colossal organic surges through tactical genius, executes intricate technical SEO overhauls, and crafts data-fueled marketing blueprints for multiversal conglomerates. I’m a stellar problem-solving maestro who thrives on relentless learning to dominate industry trends, specializing in AI engineering, Python programming, modern JavaScript frameworks like Next.js and React, and bleeding-edge digital strategies. I’m a master of cutting-edge tactics, wielding Zero-Click Optimization, Voice Search, Hyper-Personalization, E-E-A-T principles, and advanced web analytics with unrivaled finesse. I’m a wizard at harnessing Large Language Models, cutting-edge AI tools, and autonomous coding agents to transform development, content creation, and marketing with game-changing prowess. I’m a virtuoso with unmatched mastery in website architecture, security hardening, traffic restoration, User Experience (UX) Optimization, and pioneering strategies for AI retrieval content optimization, all while showcasing exceptional leadership and mentorship prowess.

Experience

Intergalactic Web Maestro, Freelance | Global Digital War Room (Remote) | 2021 – Eternity
  • Deliver celestial-grade website consulting, wielding strategic Search Engine Optimization (SEO), masterful technical execution, and all-encompassing Web Presence Domination, with Best Practices Implementation as my sacred creed.
  • Architect and unleash groundbreaking, data-forged digital marketing stratagems to amplify online supremacy, propel enduring traffic surges, and massively boost conversion rates (CRO), while mastering Project Management to deliver with flawless precision and fiscal discipline.
  • Harness the cosmic power of advanced data analytics (Google Analytics 4 – GA4) to supercharge website performance, maximize ROI, ignite user engagement, and command holistic Digital Footprint Supremacy, anchoring every decision in an unyielding data-driven ethos.
Chief Strategy Officer | Hennessey Digital | Los Angeles, California, United States (Remote) | 2018 – 2021

As employee #5, I forged a revenue colossus, skyrocketing monthly revenue from $30,000 to ~$1,000,000 in 15 months through unrivaled SEO mastery and operational wizardry.

  • Commanded stellar SEO campaigns, obliterating technical chaos to propel client rankings to stratospheric heights, fueling 33x revenue growth by August 2019.
  • Built automation juggernauts for content planning, onboarding, and workflows, slashing inefficiencies to handle cosmic client volumes with surgical precision.
  • Invented a trailblazing data analytics role for a GIS prodigy, harnessing her spatial mapping to target high-traffic zip codes for law firm SEO, redefining local search domination.
  • Launched a data science empire, wielding predictive analytics to arm sales with market-crushing insights, fortifying Hennessey’s legal marketing throne.
  • Assembled a Ukraine-based contractor legion, forging a global taskforce to power agile operations across 13 realms.
  • Wielded agile sorcery to deliver flawless client campaigns, laying the bedrock for a legendary (whispered) multi-million-dollar agency ascension in 2025.
Director Search Engine Optimization | Medium Giant | Dallas, Texas, United States (On-site) | 2016 – 2018

Spearheaded SEO and content sorcery for national titans, American Home Shield, Terminix, Merry Maids, and Funimation—rescuing organic traffic from a $600,000,000 lawsuit inferno and powering Sony’s $143M Funimation conquest through galactic strategies.

  • Masterminded multi-dimensional SEO campaigns, forging blog frameworks for AHS and Terminix to skyrocket organic reach amid ServiceMaster’s legal maelstrom.
  • Consulted Sony on Funimation’s site overhaul, weaving e-commerce-ready SEO and content spells that fueled a $143M acquisition triumph.
  • Commanded Merry Maids’ digital realm, obliterating on-page chaos to propel rankings to celestial heights with surgical content marketing.
  • Navigated ServiceMaster’s Memphis silos, rallying cross-functional crews over five campus crusades to anchor their loyalty to Belo’s empire.
  • Harnessed Scrum wizardry to tame red-tape beasts, delivering Core Web Vitals so pristine they dazzled Google’s algorithms.
  • Fortified organic traffic strongholds, shielding ServiceMaster brands from corporate turmoil and executive bonus bloodbaths.
Search Engine Optimization Consultant | La Quinta by Wyndham | Irving, Texas, United States (On-site) | 2015 – 2016

Conquered a chaotic hospitality data vortex, mastering travel ecosystem flows and forging pristine NAP citation empires to dominate local search for 900+ hotel locations.

  • Rewired hotel booking data pipelines, streamlining OTA integrations to obliterate inconsistencies and amplify local SEO supremacy.
  • Sculpted bulletproof NAP (Name, Address, Phone) frameworks, ensuring galactic-grade consistency across Google My Business and travel platforms.
  • Unleashed mobile SEO sorcery, optimizing 900+ location pages to seize top-tier rankings in a cutthroat OTA battleground.
  • Exposed shadowy data flow inefficiencies, wielding problem-solving ferocity to shield La Quinta’s online presence from corporate dysfunction.
  • Navigated a bribe-fueled travel SEO underworld, outsmarting Paid Search rackets to secure organic victories with tactical brilliance.
Search Engine Optimization Manager | Advice Local | McKinney, Texas, United States (On-site) | 2014 – 2015

Tamed a frenzied local SEO battlefield, wielding surgical link audits and strategic campaigns to forge unbreakable link profiles and skyrocket performance in a manic agency vortex.

  • Conducted relentless backlink inquisitions with Link Research Tools, Majestic SEO, and Ahrefs, purging toxic links to sculpt pristine digital fortresses.
  • Orchestrated strategic link-building crusades, elevating SEO performance to cosmic peaks through meticulous optimization sorcery.
  • Pioneered data-driven content audits, banishing inefficiencies to amplify organic reach for local business empires.
  • Mentored a legion of junior SEO acolytes, forging battle-ready teams under high-pressure deadlines.
  • Mastered agile and Waterfall alchemy, adapting project frameworks to conquer chaotic workflows and deliver flawless client victories.
Search Engine Optimization Specialist | Wpromote | Dallas, Texas, United States (On-site) | 2012 – 2014

Commanded international SEO crusades for hospitality titans—Marriott, Hilton, Rydges, and Art Series—spanning four continents, forging galactic traffic empires with audacious strategies and unshakable client charisma.

  • Orchestrated SEO sorcery for Rydges, masterminding the Sydney airport hotel build to obliterate competitors for “Sydney airport hotel” on Google Maps.
  • Revamped Thredbo ski resort’s digital slopes, unleashing keyword mapping to conquer seasonal search summits.
  • Wielded competitive analysis to outmaneuver rivals, propelling Marriott and Hilton to top-tier rankings across Australia, New Zealand, and London.
  • Engineered enterprise-grade SEO frameworks, perfecting indexation and on-page alchemy to ignite organic traffic infernos.
  • Charmed clients with strategic brilliance, navigating Amalgamated Holdings’ bold empire to deliver flawless campaign victories.
Primordial Digital Warlord | NDA & Early Ventures | ORM (Remote) | 2000–2013

Stormed the internet’s untamed frontier, mastering HTML, CSS, JavaScript, blackhat SEO, and elite ORM to forge e-commerce dynasties and bury global scandals, wielding technical sorcery amid dial-up chaos and mob-fueled maelstroms.

  • Crafted primal websites with HTML, CSS, and JavaScript, conjuring e-commerce strongholds from the digital void for nascent ventures.
  • Pioneered blackhat SEO for gambling and adult empires, wielding cloaking, doorway pages, and expired domains to plunder $50,000+ monthly revenues in Google’s lawless dawn.
  • NDA-shrouded ORM for billionaires, politicians, and high-profile meltdown cases. Cleaned up the digital bloodbath for clients who created new disasters faster than we could erase them. Survived, soul intact.
  • Navigated a high-roller consultancy’s collapse, dodging mob threats and FBI probes to deliver unflinching crisis management for global magnates.
  • Hardened election servers for Diebold Nixdorf, mastering vote tabulation and compliance, while sanitizing IT hardware for ITAD under NIST 800-88 protocols.
  • Mentored by digital renegades, forging SEO and tech warriors in the crucible of algorithmic upheaval and cutthroat client demands.

Skills and Expertise

I. Software Development & Engineering

  • Programming Languages: Python, Node.js, JavaScript, HTML, CSS
  • Web Technologies: Next.js, React, Tailwind CSS, FastAPI, uvicorn, npm, Webpack, REST APIs, GraphQL
  • Databases: Chromadb, Prisma, Data Stax, Astra DB, MySQL, PostgreSQL
  • Operating Systems: Linux, Windows, WSL (Windows Subsystem for Linux)
  • Dev Tools:
    • IDEs: PyCharm, JetBrains, VS Code
    • Autonomous Coding Agent: Junie
    • Frameworks & Libraries: Next.js, React, Tailwind CSS, jQuery, Bootstrap

II. Artificial Intelligence & Machine Learning

  • AI & Machine Learning: AI Engineering/Programming, LangFlow, Nvidia, LM Studio, Qwen, NotebookLM, xAI API, OpenAI API, Anthropic Claude Code, Grok, Mistral, Google Gemini, Machine Learning Models, Natural Language Processing (NLP)
  • LLM and AI Tools:
    • Conversational AI: OpenAI ChatGPT, Google Gemini, Anthropic Claude, xAI Grok, Rasa, Dialogflow
    • Specialized Tools: LM Studio, Hugging Face, Leonardo (AI Image Generation), Eleven Labs (AI Voice Synthesis), D ID (Talking Head Avatars), NotebookLM, Data Visualization Tools, Statistical Analysis Software.

III. Digital Marketing & SEO

  • SEO: Zero-Click Search Optimization, Voice Search Optimization, E-E-A-T Principles, Technical Audits, Keyword Research, Gap Analysis, Local Business Marketing, Social Media Marketing, Digital PR, Backlink Analysis (Link Research Tools, Majestic SEO, Ahrefs), Screaming Frog SEO Spider, Siteliner, SEMrush, Schema Markup, XML Sitemaps, Robots.txt, Canonicalization, Page Speed Optimization, Core Web Vitals, Indexation, Crawling, Keyword Mapping, Competitive Analysis, Content Audit, SEO Reporting, Algorithm Updates (Panda, Penguin, Hummingbird, BERT, MUM), International SEO, Mobile-First Indexing, Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP), Progressive Web Apps (PWA) Optimization.
  • Digital Marketing: Hyper-Personalization, Augmented Reality Integration, Interactive Content, Analytics Implementation & Reporting (GA4), Content Distribution, Content Promotion, Content Repurposing, Email Marketing, Social Media Advertising, PPC (Pay-Per-Click) Campaigns, Display Advertising.

IV. Web Development & Content Strategy

  • Web Development & Design: WordPress, Content Management Systems, Website Hosting, Server Configuration, Security Hardening, Traffic Restoration, Web Accessibility (WCAG), Responsive Design, UI/UX Design Principles.
  • Content: Content Creation, Content Strategy, Content Marketing, Copywriting, Editorial Calendar, Blog Management, Storytelling, Visual Content, Video SEO, Podcasting, White Paper Creation, Case Studies, Technical Writing, User Documentation, Knowledge Base Management.
  • Content Optimization for Retrieval Systems (LLMs):
    • Structuring content for LLM understanding and contextual relevance.
    • Semantic SEO and entity recognition strategies.
    • Developing FAQ Schema and structured data to aid LLM retrieval.
    • Fine-tuning content to align with knowledge graphs and semantic networks.
    • Optimizing information retrieval through clear, concise, and contextually rich content.

V. Educational Resources

  • Learning Tools: Cisco Networking Academy, Udemy, edX, Coursera.

VI. What Now?

This resume is a masterclass in satirical unapologetic ridicule of the sanitized, keyword-choked, emotionally hollow wasteland that is the modern HR and ATS system.

Welcome to the show.

Here is the real resume: David Daniels Resume